I used to be able to curl up with a good book in the same place for hours on end and simply get lost in the world that was being given to me though the pages. I have not been able to do that recently. This is not because of any lack in the books it is because of me and how I have been the last 4 years or so. A lot of it I think is because that is when my anxiety really got worse. My mind just refuses to be still, no matter how much I try. I am sure that some of you reading this will understand the issue. I do hope at some point to be able to make my mind relax enough so that I can curl up for hours at a time again.
Of course, just because I can’t spend hours at once reading doesn’t mean I don’t read. I have learned to smile and not just laugh outright at some of the mistakes the kindle reader makes. When I pick up a hard copy book I can read for an hour at most before the brain starts running again and demands that I do something else. That is the biggest issue for me, there just are not enough hours in the day to do every single thing that my mind comes up with. From writing ideas to, crochet ideas too, make up ideas, to clothing ideas and so on and so forth you get the drift. So many wonderful ideas I want to bring to life and I can’t make time stop so that I can do them all and then write a book. There are also the regular duties we all have in life, mothering, cleaning, working. Oh right and every once in a blue moon I manage to get some sleep. I guess one benefit of being a chronic insomniac is that you do tend to get more time in the day than many others, but that is going to be a completely different kind of post.
I have been thinking about the trouble I have keeping still a lot lately. I know I need to work on it so I am going to make an honest effort to do so this year. I was treated to a fidget cube, several days ago and I am wondering if that will help me with this new mission. I love writing and crochet so much that it often feels like if I am just sitting and only reading (vs having kindle read out loud to me (like I am right now lol) or listen to an audio book, my hands want to be crocheting. So maybe the fidget cube, will keep my hands busy while I read. I plan on giving that a try later this week.
Alas, I fear this has become a little bit of a random ramble. I am going to blame that on the lack of sleep again I am afraid. I almost got to sleep at a semi normal hour for once, and then new little boy Misha decided my feet were his fun toys. I wasn’t even moving them! Little stinker and yet I love him for it.
Here is hoping for a good week for everyone reading this.