But, something happened through these exercises; something I hadn’t expected. Once I was critically evaluating the elements of a book it became harder and harder to get lost within the pages. Whereas I used to finish 98% of every book I picked up, I soon found my percentage dropping farther and farther as I found more and more storylines that, for one reason or another, I just didn’t like. These days, I probably only finish 1/3 of the books I pick up. The downside of the development of this critical reader who is consistently reading over my shoulder, is that it’s not always easy to find a good book. When I’m reading it’s hard to turn off my “internal editor” and let the story sweep me away.

The upside is that when I like a book, I really, really like it. Another benefit is that reading is very much an educational experience for me. Not only am I learning about whatever time period, culture, or person the story features, I’m also learning about the book’s structure, character development, plot, and basic usage of words, dialogue, and description. Since I only get captured by great books, I figure I’m getting the best education I possibly can. It’s not uncommon for me to be reading and stop in order to scramble for my notebook where I write down a certain word I liked, or a sentence structure that had great texture, or I jot down a character idea that was triggered by the story. Then I run back to the book and get lost once again. In this sense I’ve learned to write from some of the great writers of my time—Sue Graphton, John Grisham, Mary Higgins Clark, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, John Shors as was as some of the classic writers such as Mary Stewart, Agatha Christie, and Edgar Allan Poe. What better teachers could a writer want? And they’re all available for nothing more than a library card.

The decline in self-control is connected to an increase in cultural narcissism-our sense of entitlement, grandiose expectations, immediacy, and demand that we are so special-we deserve everything now. Entitlement and immediacy leads to impulsivity and declining self-control. Researcher Jean Twenge has written two books describing the growth of narcissism-her recent effort is titled The Narcissism Epidemic. The growth is a cultural trend, with roots in the 70s, and initially put forth by social critic Christopher Lasch. Today’s version, Cultural Narcissism 2.0, has created a culture of excess that involves three factors. These are the speed of technology, technology coupled with media, and extreme capitalism. These factors are cumulative and interactive and define our day to day behavior and relationships. We haven’t fully realized the cumulative effect of these combined forces on our lives. The water level has been slowly rising, but now we sense it is above our shoulders. Even then, we run the risk of drowning. Like the frog that will jump out of hot water, but if put in water that slowly boils, it stays in the water and dies.

All of our social and legislative policies reflect our cultural narcissism and encourage and advance the decline in self-control. Deregulation has become a religion and has led to extreme risk taking that caused the financial collapse. Extreme risk taking is a behavior that emerges from declining self-control. The road to success in today’s deregulated “free market” is not to choose a profession and to be competent. That takes too much time and is too hard. Instead, it is far easier to be a broker. A broker in a deregulated jungle is king. The dismantling of rules and boundaries wafts down to the individual. In an era that prized deregulation, we have deregulated our internal mechanisms of self-control. Self-control at this point can only be reined in by what everyone seems to resist and hate—increased rules and regulations. Just as a child cannot grow without rules and boundaries, an economy cannot recover and grow without them either.

Some call today’s youth Generation Me. But many of them want to become Generation We. This new generation will have the courage to regulate, the courage to overcome the arguments of socialism. They will dispute the entitled positions like the one that says we have the best healthcare system in the world. They will replace consumption with competence. They will replace self esteem with self-control. They will redefine what success means. Their internal mantra will be an old one —moderation in all things.

J.R. Slosar is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Irvine, CA, and an adjunct assistant professor at Chapman University, Orange, CA. In the past 25 years he has provided direct clinical and consulting services in a variety of diverse settings. He is the author of The Culture of Excess: How America Lost Self Control and Why We Need to Redefine Success (ABC-CLIO, Nov.. 2009) Visit http://www.cultureofexcess.com or call 949-851-8277 for more information.